five minuites awake and my head is about to explode!I ask my mom to make my coffee a litlle lighter today,not like the mud she served me yesterday.She calls,and there is the same coffee I saw yesterday,dark,muddy like the Amazon in a storm.I mutter my displeasure,leave.From the kitchen I hear spoons clanking,doors closing just enough to be annoying.My 9 yaer old is throwing a tantrum,vieing for attention.I ask here to please dont bang the stuff on the counter....then it starts.How I brought here and left her alone,she's getting to the "I gave birth to you and you owe me your life" speech,how I went and lived my life "out there"(meaning in the states)and pulled here out of the projects after my father died and ploped her here,in a house we owned for forty years(and no one lived in)to enjoy the fruits of my father's long hard labor.All the sins I've ever committed on her strt to show up.As I listen(I remember,how she waited two day to call for help when my father had his stroke,because she did'nt understand what was happening to him.How she gave herself over to my father,to become an extendsion of him and not a real person,how she manipulates everyone around her to survive)I dont speak,I dont accuse,but I remember........